Who Doesn’t Love Free Stuff!
You’ve heard these words from me before, and you’ll probably hear them again. “I Love Free Stuff.” Swag is my life. Comped meals, Skymiles earned airline tickets, whatever. Give me something free, and I’m a happy camper.
Free lunch? Is There Any Such Thing?
When I first heard about a possible freebie in Las Vegas, my ears perked up. There was one small catch, however. “You must be this big” to eat for free at the Heart Attack Grill.
Any person weighing in at 350 pounds or more, is entitled to enjoy a meal on the house, one Single Bypass Burger®, at a time. The Nurse/Waitresses will keep them coming until they hear the words, “I can’t eat any more.” or “Call an ambulance, I’m having a heart attack!” Sadly, this actually did occur last summer, detailed here on ABC News.
Is It Worth The Weight?
It sounded cute on some levels, but truth be told, I was a little disgusted and conflicted at the same time. Daniel really wanted to see the place and there was that word FREE sticking in my mind. Greed won out over gross, and off we went, to see if I could either fit the bill, or avoid paying it.
Good Idea Or Bad?
I did have on a heavy coat, many layers of clothing and an enormous pocketbook, but still only weighed in at 135 lbs. It wasn’t even close to earning me an unpaid meal, but I supposed I was happy. Daniel and I donned our mandatory hospital gowns and perused the menu in search of dinner.
Limited Menu With Unlimited Fat And Calories
There is nothing to choose from aside from burgers in varying heart attack inducing sizes, lard fried potatoes, butterfat milk shakes and unfiltered cigarettes. Yes, I said, “Cigarettes”.
“Where’s the salad? No, really. Where’s the salad?”
Such A Difficult Decision
A quadruple bypass is not something that I want on any level. A sextuple bypass would be even worse. It was a tough call, but we opted for the least offensive menu offering. A chocolate shake topped with a giant pat of butter. Really, butter?
Intrigued and mortified at the same time. Disgusted, yet conflicted, by the whole concept.
As a formerly obese teen, ridiculed and bullied in school, I spent three summers at fat camp and still struggle with maintaining a healthy weight and body image, each and every day of my life.
Not As Cute As It Sounds.
Obesity is a serious health risk, and there is nothing adorable or funny about it. The moral of this story lies in the obituary of Blair River, a 29-year-old man who was a part-time spokesman for the brand. RIP, Blair. Your life was cut way too short.
And now I’m in the mood for some kale, and I don’t care how much it costs.